Prepping for Postpartum: Tips from a Pediatrician
As a pediatrician, health coach, and postpartum doula, I have learned how important it is to care for parents when caring for children. Parents are their child's best advocate. Their effectiveness, however, depends on their support network of which communication is the foundation. Being able to give and receive information while creating boundaries is a key skill set for young parents. Many elements affect one's ability to heal while caring for others. The postpartum experience reflects these inherent struggles of early parenthood.
Having worked with multiple families as a pediatrician, I recognize the struggle to recover, care for, and manage health. Unfortunately and invariably, a mother's recovery often falls to the lowest priority. This decision is a mistake because if a mother is not cared for, the health of the baby falters. Whether it be milk production, sleep patterning or illness management, a mother's agency can affect a baby's growth and development.
We will touch on three categories of postpartum care: the physical self, the emotional needs, and material considerations.
Physical Self
For the physical self, we will begin by introducing the Chinese medicine triad of "eat, sleep, and stress".
In the postpartum period, eating high protein foods while hydrating on nutrient rich liquids like broth can make an enormous difference for healing. The biggest difficulty however is in making high protein foods available to moms who are busy, distracted, and overwhelmed. Have a plan. Create corners in your home for a mom to sit and feed her baby. In those corners, place a basket with easily accessible high protein snacks like nuts and electrolyte waters like coconut water. Feeding nooks for mom and baby can help a mom feel more present postpartum.
The fridge should be stocked with easy, reheatable meals. Encourage visitors to bring food divided into smaller tupperware portions for a "grab and go" opportunity. Consider meal delivery services for nutrient dense meals. Asking the village to provide a postpartum mom sustenance has been the tradition of our civilizations for centuries. When we neglect a mother's nutrition, we are dismantling the village that used to sustain us.
In terms of sleep, during the 9 months in utero, a baby develops jet lag. The baby sleeps during the day and is awake at night. Once the baby is born, the purpose is to "break the jet lag". What this translates into are frequent arousals every two hours during the daytime - 7AM to 7PM. These arousals can be a quick feed or diaper change. The baby doesn't have to stay awake. These quick moments of awakeness pull the baby from REM sleep which occurs once the baby is sleeping for 2 or more hours at a time.
During the nighttime - 7 PM to 7AM -, the baby can sleep up to 3-4 hours at a time until they are 2 weeks old. At two weeks old, they have generally reached their birth weight. Once they have reached their birth weight, they can sleep as long as they would like in the nighttime period. Being able to quickly orient the sleep and awake schedules for babies can have profound effects on the mental well being of parents. In fact, there can be psychological effects on adults who do not achieve at least four hours of uninterrupted sleep per night.
Pregnancy and childbirth place a great deal of stress on a woman's body. Postpartum healing requires reorientation of one's own body. Look to nature for cues. If balance and posture feel misaligned, go outside, feel the wind, smell the air, and gaze at the sky. Gentle exercises and deep breaths help return the axis of the body to its original orientation. Walking outside can help the body return to its natural rhythms.
Emotional Needs
In the postpartum, our emotional well-being is particularly vulnerable. Effectively communicating with one's village can alleviate much of that stress. While we need our village, fears, guilt, and anxiety will hamper our ability to communicate and advocate effectively. The weeds of intergenerational trauma can make trusting and relying on family members challenging.
Clearing dusty resentments helps us see more clearly. The goal is to bring out the best in ourselves and others. Boundaries set the stage for meaningful interactions unburdened by resentment. Shift away from performative parenting. On social media, it seems like people just cruise through life. The truth is parenting is gritty and messy. Crave genuine engagement with family versus "Instagrammable moments".
Material Considerations
One's material environment can be either filled with clutter or cleared with peace. Less is more. By simplifying our minds and homes, we can make better eye contact and take deeper breaths. When looking for baby products, try multipurpose formulations like La Petite Creme, a French wiping lotion for mom and baby instead of piles of redundant products. Try saline nasal drops instead of multiple "cold medicines". Ask for food as gifts instead of toys or clothes. Streamline and simplify since life only gets more chaotic. .
Decluttering one's schedule is important in recovery. Saying "no" to someone else gives us a chance to say "yes" to ourselves. Limiting visitors and activities helps us clear our schedules. There are many unpredictable moments in postpartum. Control what you can by exercising agency over who and when people come over. Before saying "yes" consider whether the visitors feed you physically and emotionally. Of course there will be unavoidable obligations. Schedule unscheduled time before and after so you can prepare and recover.
Postpartum is a multipronged wheel connected with inter related spokes. Healing takes time and effort. A mother's health and healing is connected to the health and happiness of her children. Mothers need to be not only their child's best advocate but their own champion as well!
