Why You Need to Take a Solo Trip with Your Kids
My favorite three nights of the year, every year, are my solo trips with my kids.
It’s a concept I accidentally created after the birth of my third child, almost 4 years ago. It was the first time maternity leave felt truly NICE to me. First baby - we’re all just learning the ropes (and I had some NICU trauma to work through). Second baby - also a NICU nugget, and this one arrived just a step ahead of that casual global pandemic.
But my girl?! My girl came in right on time, as chubby and happy as could be. I’d had a very high risk pregnancy with her, two toddlers to take care of, and a really intense full time job. So frankly, when she popped out, I was proud of myself. And I thought, “I deserve a little treat.” And we BOTH deserved some solo time to bond and soak up the snuggles, sans her brothers sticky fingers and screams.
So, as she turned 7 weeks old, we packed our bikinis and headed to a hotel about 30 minutes away. I dressed her up in fancy dresses and took her to the hotel bar. I got us matching bathing suits and we shade-bathed side by side (one of us was asleep the whole time). We snuggled on the bed and I stared at her perfect little face while I munched on my room service. It was heavenly. I decided right then and there that I needed to do this with ALL of my kids.
When I look at these solo trips, it isn't like….taking your kid to a relative's wedding, or relative's funeral or a road trip to visit your friend from college. There is no other plan. The plan is just to be together with one child. It’s about giving each child that individual attention that can be hard to come by when you have multiple kids and a million things pulling you in a million directions. It’s about soaking up these little phases that go by so fast.
If you’re thinking, “Ok cool, but why can’t we just do that at home?”
You can! But it’s different. I don’t know about you, but I have some trouble relaxing and disconnecting with my kids at home. There is always a load of laundry to move, a box that needs to be opened, dishes that need to be done, the list is never ending.
Being somewhere that is physically removed from the chaos and stress helps me do that so much. I quickly lose the guilt that I should be doing xyz or should be more present. Because I have blocked the calendar and made the choice to do absolutely nothing but be with my child.
The best part of these trips for me has become not only being present and soaking up their cuteness, but getting to know my kids on a deeper level.
The first time I took my middle son on his solo trip, he was newly 3 years old and didn’t talk a ton. His big brother did most of that for him. It wasn’t until we were alone and agenda free that my quiet guy was REALLY chatty. He had so much to say! He just didn’t do it as much when he had a brother who was happy to do it for him. With my oldest son, it was a chance for me to start to get into his world. As a newly minted 8 year old, we’ve started having “bigger” conversations on these trips. I can’t help but imagine how much more special they will continue to be, as my kids get older and more distant (literally) from me as their independence grows.
Don’t want to blow the budget on 3 nights at The Beverly Hills Hotel?
No need! A solo trip can be camping, borrowing a friend’s back house or Airbnb, or my personal favorite - using points! I almost always cash in my credit card points for these trips, so they feel fun, splurgy, but kinda guilt-free. It’s also a great opportunity to teach our kids the value of experiences over things, and can be used as a special birthday or holiday gift! Trust me - your kids will be THRILLED to be gifted a getaway with their favorite person - Mom. And you? Get ready to have the best day of your year.
